Top 8 tips for meeting a divorce lawyer for the first time 

Before the meeting 

Think about what do you want to achieve

The first question to ask yourself is what do you want to achieve from the meeting.? This is about your personal situation and you need to clearly think through what information you need.  

Preparation is key 

At your first meeting with your divorce lawyer, they will want to understand the circumstances of your family life so pulling together the following information in your mind and /or on paper will help.  Ask yourself:

• What has led to you seeking advice? 

• What are your particular circumstances?

Take along your personal details,  for example, name and address etc. Also details such as:

• If you are married, when you got married 

• If relevant, when you separated 

• If relevant, when you started living together before you were married

• Names and ages of any child are important 

If there are financial matters to sort out, the following is useful: 

• Summary of any assets including estimates of values and who owns those assets. For example, is any property owned in joint names, your name or the sole name of your spouse or partner?

• Debts or other liabilities, for example, a mortgage, loans and credit cards

• Values of investments, pensions and income 

However, please remember do NOT go rifling through your spouse’s/partner’s personal papers to find out the information. 

Come to the meeting only with what you already know and definitely do not bring any papers with you that do not belong to you. 

Think through some key questions 

We asked our lawyers for the most important questions to ask at your first meeting with a divorce lawyer.

Here are the top 7 questions they provided: 

• Who will look after my case and what is the best way for us to keep in contact? 

• How long do you think it will take to reach a conclusion? 

• Is there anything I should consider doing / definitely not be doing? 

• What do you think is the best option for me to take if I decide I want to go ahead?

• How much do you think the legal fees will be and how can I pay you?  

• I may struggle to meet your costs, what options are available for funding my case? 

• What do you think the outcome of my case will be? 

Perhaps make a note of your key questions as a reminder to ask them in the meeting. 

During the meeting 

Be honest and open 

Your lawyer needs to have a clear understanding of your situation and relationship. For example, they need to understand whether or not you still get along with your ex or if there have been any instances of aggressive or controlling behaviour. This can help inform the options that are available to you. 

Being totally transparent now can prevent any delays or surprises later on in the divorce process. 

Do not be nervous about the legal detail

You should expect to receive information on what the legal processes involve though don’t expect to get a blow by blow account.

Family and divorce law can be complicated and there is a danger that you can be overloaded with too much technical information, making you feel more bamboozled than when you first walked into the office. 

Part of your divorce lawyer’s job is to take the complicated legal information and give you the detail you need in a clear and understandable format. 

Listen to the options open to you

Not all cases end up in courtroom battles, in fact, most cases are resolved by agreement without any need to go near a courtroom. 

There are lots of options available including mediation, collaborative family law and negotiation. 

The most important thing is that when you have your first meeting with a divorce lawyer, you have confidence in them and they have all the resources needed to help you. 

Talk through your desired outcome

Whilst it is not always possible to give a definitive answer, particularly where not all the facts (and figures) are known, your lawyer should be able to give you some direction on what your future will look like whether it is in relation to the arrangements for your children, how to legally end your relationship or what your financial future will look like. 

The first meeting is an opportunity to discuss what you want to achieve. Even if you have no idea at all,  don’t worry, that is where a lawyer can help you. Alternatively, if you do have some clear ideas, your lawyer can explain whether these expectations are realistic. 

Leave the meeting feeling informed

It is important that you leave the meeting better informed than when you went in. Not all the information you receive may be good news or what you believe you are entitled to. 

Remember what you think is fair and reasonable may not be shared by your ex. 

Often there is no reason to rush into taking steps. It is important that you consider things carefully. If there is a reason to take urgent action your lawyer should be able to tell you. 

It always better to take legal advice from a qualified professional rather than relying on a friend’s opinion or something you have read online. 

How you can get in touch with Stowe Family Law:

With over 75 specialist divorce lawyers, whatever your situation is, it will be familiar to us. You will benefit from the firm’s 800 years of collective knowledge to identify the best approach for you.

If you would like any advice on divorce you can find further articles here on our blog or please do contact our Client Care Team to speak to one of our specialist divorce lawyers here.